The Total Man: Jesus Christ

We study the life of Christ to understand Jesus' behavior as a man, and what we find is that a man keeps on growing in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and man. He keeps on developing mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially.

Christian success is developing into a person of godly character, and satisfaction comes from being yourself while not disrespecting others. Manhood is not having or doing, but being Christ-like through developing your unique personality and skills.

Favor does not mean being well-liked, or popular. Rather it is that which cannot be successfully condemned (John 8:46). 

By the American standard, Christ was a failure. However, appearances and expectations can be deceptive. It is substance that matters. Because He was a man of substance, Christ had an inner peace and so can we regardless how it appears or what others expectations are.

In his book, The Total Man: The Way to Confidence and Fulfillment (1980), 

Dan Benson asks:

"How do we as men find and keep the important balance in personal fulfillment, family life and work? How do we distinguish between godly manhood & pseudo-masculinity?

Freedom in being a man is separating one's self from society's false standards of masculinity to a more relaxed, confident manhood."

He continues by contrasting society's standard of manhood with a more Christ like standard:

"It was a perceptive ad agency that conceived the Marlboro Man. There he stands, rugged and free. The sun glints off the ruddy crevices of his face. Behind him, a herd of galloping mustangs symbolize his strength, daring and hard masculinity."

"Those who created him knew that he would portray America's masculine dream—our subconscious symbol of the brooding, rugged independence that spells maleness."

"His image sums up what we strive for: freedom, success, and the ability to handle any situation that comes along--the strong, silent disposition that expresses nothing short of total manhood."

"Men. Look around. The American masculine dream is killing us."

"For years we have been taught that a man must be an unswerving pinnacle of strength. Emotion and gentleness were for sissies. At school, it was manly to play football, unmanly to cry. At home it was masculine to chop wood or repair the car; unmasculine to help with the dishes or housework."
 

"At the office it is manly to exercise cold shrewdness for the sake of profit margin, unmanly to show sensitivity and caring for the problems of a fellow worker. In short, we have subscribed to what the Spanish call machismo, the concept that our masculinity is proportionate to how well we wear our strong, silent toughness."

"In modern times the word has been shortened to macho. In learning to be a man, the boy in America comes to value indications of masculinity expressed largely through physical courage, toughness, competitiveness and progressiveness. Femininity is, in contrast, expressed largely through gentleness and responsiveness. Parents teach children that a real man does not show his emotions."

"Whenever you have the opportunity, observe the aged. In the vast majority of elderly married couples, you'll find one of the following to be true:  (1) The husband has passed away, survived several years by his wife, or (2) if both are still living but one is infirm, it is often the husband. The one time tower of strength is now pampered, wheeled about, and spoon-fed by his still healthy wife. He is the victim of an unspoken societal code which dictates that it is not masculine for a man to cry, to seek help, to express tenderness, or otherwise release pent-up emotions."

"So over the years—guilt, fears and frustrations wear his body and mind down to a frazzle. In the end, the man's physical and emotional life is drained, affecting his wife, family & relationships, job—everything upon which he has built his life. Is this surprising, when we take a look at the expected American lifestyle, whose furious pace surpasses that of almost every other nation?"

"We're suffering, men, from a widespread epidemic of pseudo-masculinity called macho. It has placed our entire existence on a performance basis, our manhood's "success" or "failure" being determined more by what we do than by who we are."

"It is eroding our mental, physical, spiritual and social health. It creates massive love and communication gaps between us and our families. Do you see it happening? In striving to be like the Marlboro Man, we've become more imprisoned than free."

    

Benson concludes,

"Christ frees us from society's false standards of masculinity to a more relaxed, confident manhood. It is based on the simple fact that you do not have to prove your manhood to anyone but God—you are already a man. Simply accepting this truth frees us from the bondage of the creators of the Marlboro Man and allows us to become more like Christ."

We learn from Christ to:

—to express love, gentleness and kindness

—to slow down and relax

—to value your wife & family as more important
    than your job

—to show emotion (even cry) if you need to

—to take time to be healthy

 —to better fulfill our wives emotionally

—to give more attention to your highest priorities in life

—to enjoy life to the maximum

—to say "no" to the activities that drain your time and energy

—to possess your money wisely, without being possessed by it

—to pursue a different brand of success

    

…and not feel the slightest bit threatened as a man. Because deep down we discover a manhood more fulfilling than the Marlboro Man. We discover the freedom to be the man, husband, and father we always wanted to be."