Oversight is not "Control"

As long as the western church continues to view Biblical oversight as "control" instead of "living by example" then we will continue to have problems (Acts 20:28; cf. 1 Pet. 5:1-7; cf. Mark 10:42-45). 

As long as the church is viewed as a school-house business instead of a family around the Lord's dinner table, then we will continue to have problems, because we are imposing a worldly superstructure over the church that God never intended (Luke 22:14-34). 

The church is not a business where a board of directors governs by "control" of the auditorium, classroom, and treasury. The church is not a school where elders focus on the curriculum or what "doctrine" is taught.

The church is about living life in community in a godly manner, not controlling dependents from the top-down from an oligarchical and hierarchical-orthodoxy-viewpoint that turns a blind eye toward the behavior of those who supposedly hold positions/offices in the church, or because possession of "sound doctrine" (which often are merely rituals that one repeats) is deemed as most important. 

Biblical doctrine is behavior.

False accusers ARE false teachers.
 

The tighter the current misinterpretation of "oversight"--and more desperate the control grip--becomes the more the younger generations will rebel, because it is their God-given right to not be controlled, but to be free (Gal. 5:1). Of course, they will continue to be falsely accused by some of "leaving the Lord or church" or "being unfaithful," etc. None of which is true. Truly, none are so blind as those who refuse to see anything other than their own viewpoint as "right."

This in no way absolves the younger of personal responsibility or the necessary integrity that is demanded from Christianity. In fact, it demands that they mature as commanded by God, but in many cases are presently being hindered by men who have no integrity (2 Pet. 3:18; cf. Eph. 4:11-16). And no, "chaos" will not reign when people grow and mature in Christ, it's just the opposite. They'll quit following men who lack integrity and develop their own = conforming to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29).

Previous generations that remain vested in their hierarchical, oligarchical fixed beliefs they view as "sound doctrine" of which they are dependent on paid preachers and elders for interpretations will continue to be the largest part of the problem. Many don't even believe they interpret the Bible. The Myth of Nature's Nation and the Millennial Nation are still alive and well in the minds of many who, like Henry Ford, see historical facts as "bunk." As much of a fan as I am of Ford and his ability, his ignorance was on display often, and history matters. Especially, knowing one's own history and WHY we believe what we believe and do what we do.

American Christians are taught to believe the national myth of all truth being "self-evident" which means they don't have to do their own research (study, give personal diligence and courage--2 Tim. 2:15). They can just "go to church" 3 times a week and the preacher and elders will get them to Heaven.

Not wise.

Following authoritarians who falsely accuse (slander, 2 Tim. 3:3) those who threaten their power will prove costly.

Better to repent now--change our minds and direction we are traveling--than to pass the point of no return someday.

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Do Not Be Enslaved To Religious Men

I strive to be real rather than religious.

I have found that when we strive to be religious rather than real, we can become more controlling sometimes than the people in government.

Control is achieved and maintained by trust, but trusting others to think and do things "for us" prevents God commanded growth and ends up destroying relationships.

If "religion" should do anything, it should strengthen individuals and relationships--not destroy them.

Wisdom warns of trusting in man.

Paul writes: "You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings" (1 Cor. 7:23).

And,

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and be not entangled again with a yoke of bondage" (Gal. 5:1).

Obedience and responsibility are not the same thing.

Obedience to God increases man's responsibility and maturity.

Obedience to man stagnates man's responsibility and maturity. The Apostle Paul knew this and taught against it.

Do we?

Or do we have a worldview of compartmentalizing life that justifies obedience to man which is not the commanded responsibility and maturity that increases from obedience to God through his grace? (2 Pet. 3:18). 

As Seth Godin says, "Perfect is the enemy of good." Do we let men fool us into believing that God wants us to be perfect with their man made laws and interpretations?

Isaiah says:

"Stop trusting in mere humans, who have but a breath in their nostrils. Why hold them in esteem?" --Isaiah 2:22, NIV 2011.

And, again, Paul says:

"Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ....What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.... So then, no more boasting about human leaders! All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Peter or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God"--1 Cor. 3:1...23, NIV 2011.

Recovery From Shame

Here is a link to 10 characteristics of ungodly, shame-based relationships contrasted with the 10 characteristics of godly, grace-based relationships:

Grace vs. Shame

SOURCES OF SHAME

Dale and Juanita Ryan write,

"Shame is a social experience. It is rooted in exchanges between people. It may grow out of experiences of public humiliation."

"It may result from experiences of being devalued. It may come from experiences of rejection. Many people learn shame early in life in their family-of-origin. Harsh criticism, neglect, lack of affirmation, humiliation, contempt and ridicule are not uncommon features of family life. Any of these experiences can contribute to shame in family members. The family is not, however, the only source of shaming experiences."

"Shame learned in families is often reinforced by experiences in other relationships and in other systems, such as schools and work settings. And shame is sometimes fostered as well by experiences in the Christian community. Experiences of public exposure, judgment and rejection sometimes happen in the name of Christ."

How To Build Self-Confidence

In The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence, Robert Anthony reveals three detrimental behaviors that prevent living an abundant life: Conformity, Comparison, and Competition. The way, he says, to overcome these harmful behaviors is to "de-hypnotize" ourselves of false beliefs. 

He writes:

"You may have spent valuable, irreplaceable years trying to fit into the parade only to learn, too late, that you will never fit in. What makes us follow each other like sheep?"

"It is because we are trying to conform to the majority."

"It's time to break out of this sheep state of mind and stop punishing ourselves because we are different from our family and friends, or anyone else for that matter. Much of our suffering can be eliminated if we refuse to let our lives be marred by conformity.

To think that we are controlled in any way by another individual, group, or society imposes a condition of mental slavery that makes us prisoners by our own decrees."

Dr. Anthony continues:

"The problem is that we have been conditioned by false concepts, values and beliefs that have prevented us from realizing how truly capable and unique we are. Faith is limitless. Jesus says that the "kingdom of heaven does not come with observation, but it is within you" and that "all things are possible to him who believes."

"Health, happiness, abundance and peace of mind are natural states of being once you break the bonds of negative thinking. Unless you perceive your own true worth as a person, you cannot come close to achieving self confidence and personal freedom. Only to the degree that you can acknowledge your own unique importance will you be able to free yourself from self imposed limitations."

"Yes, I said self imposed!"